You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
