his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
