my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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