'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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