i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
