Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
