oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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