I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
smell my finger.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
