i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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