dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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