To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
