Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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