Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
