listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
