He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
