Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
