He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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