Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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