I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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