I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
