why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
