If that was your dad, he is hot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
