allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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