i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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