She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We are two peas in an std pod
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
