3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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