i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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