I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
