I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
