I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
