Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
