And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
