I cannot find my penis.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
