Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
