omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
