You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
