Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Randomize
