I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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