i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
