I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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