her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
