Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
