He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
