he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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