Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
