Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
