normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
