on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My Sexting was not on an AP level
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
