I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
