my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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