4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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