The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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